It’s hard to keep my mouth shut sometimes. This is not a new trait, but when I see a couple celebrating something like a positive genetic test at 10 weeks I instantly think: “Yeah, I celebrated with Eva too, but those only show the three common chromosomal abnormalities.”
Do you educate or smile and congratulate? I choose the latter, probably because I don’t want to seem like the bitter woman without her baby.
I’m not bitter, I don’t want you to have to go through the genetic nightmare that we have. I want others to know this early test can give false hope, and further testing (CVS and amnio) can provide so much more.
I had a friend suggest genetic testing before we started trying to conceive our second child, but I blew it off. We had Max, what could go wrong? I was truly naive in understanding how genetics could dictate whether or not we would create a healthy child.
This is another blow in our journey that I’ve never shared. There is almost a 20% chance we could have another child with lissencephaly like Eva. It’s such a sensitive subject with grieving hearts, but I’m feeling pulled to share more because knowledge is power. I wish I had been more open to understanding how it all works, but I had faith the natural way is all we needed since we have Max (who is more of a MIRACLE than we ever realized.) Fertility doctors turned me off. I did the easy blood test at 10 weeks, more to find out her sex than anything. But I refused amniocentesis early on because there are risks and I am a hopeful person.
Now my eyes are wide open to the understanding of how genetics—balanced translocations in particular—play a role, and I can’t keep my mouth shut with this any longer. I appreciate more natural approaches in much of my life, but when it pertains to the future health of our children, I say we pay attention to what technology can show us.