There are many milestones when grieving. This first year is rough. I’m not looking forward to the milestones that lay ahead—diagnosis day and the day she died.

Lately I’m noticing more good days than bad, a milestone I feared I would never have. Yesterday we hiked to a mountain lake, and escaped the crowds. Max practiced casting over and over again. I got my feet in the water. And Joe enjoyed the solitude. A simple way to celebrate this life together. No sorrow that Eva wasn’t there, but acceptance that she was with us in a different way.

I see her in the beauty that surrounds us. She is in the sparks of colorful wildflowers along the trail, in the solid old growth trees, the mountain peaks, and the butterflies that surrounded us at the shoreline.

I choose to rejoice in the flicker of contentment that I feel in my heart, this milestone that I’ve reached, where I’m certain I will feel peace again.